Alchemist
doomed from the beginning
she never had a chance
a loner
kind of a stoner
but the silence became a blessing
for she grew the ability
to transform metal
into pure gold
an alchemist
a true goddess
The more people I come to meet, the more I understand that every single person has their own battles and struggles in life. However, the most inspirational people I have met, were the ones who were able to embrace these battles and recognize the beauty in it.
A large part of my journey was lonely. I isolated myself from the people I loved most because I struggled with determining who I was among the many people in my life. I did not know where they ended and I started. So, I began to do a lot of inner work. This inner work required me to be on my own, for that what was I needed to truly connect to who I was, and not what others wanted me to be.
In the beginning, I spent a lot of my time reflecting on how my life was not going the way I desired, and how I wanted to change the parts of me I found most difficult to accept. It started out purely surface level. I did not like my body, how hairy I was, my obsession with food, and my inability to remain in relationships.
The more I dove into myself, the more I learned that a lot of my insecurities stemmed from past traumas, and my fear of not being enough. However, coming face-to-face with my fears and my traumas unlocked something beautiful inside of me. I was able to recognize my fear, and my trauma, understand it, and let it all go.
From my experience, I learned two very important things.
- My trauma and fear do not define me or make me who I am.
- I am in control of my own life, and I get to decide what I make of it.
I may have let my fear and trauma drive my life for a considerable amount of time. But, after taking the journey within on my own, I was able to gain control of my own life. Some of my experiences in my life may have been difficult, but I was able to collect little pieces of myself in those moments to truly understand myself in a new and more beautiful way.
Now, my destiny is in my own hands. The experiences I went through fueled a passion and fire in me that cannot be put out.
